1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
