He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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