well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
