Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
