so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
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you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
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I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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