im drinking this country out of the recession.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Congratulations! We have a period
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