I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
