The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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