I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
