honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
