Just fell off a train. Bad.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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