I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
