sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
