Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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