Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
