They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
