sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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