i jhust puked up my retainher.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
