we made out on top of his cat.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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