Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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