Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
