We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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