I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Randomize
