Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
