His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All I want is dick and wine.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize