Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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