i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
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Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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