dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
