Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
