I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize