Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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