what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He better not be in your backpack
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
