good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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