im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize