And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
