you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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