his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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