Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
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No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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