I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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