what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
