are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
