I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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