Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
