the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
