in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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