i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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