i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Damn victory sex feels great
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
