I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
