PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
