I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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