from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
