Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
