Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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