yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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