Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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