Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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