Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
