Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
