i may or may not be watching the land before time
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
