Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
